This is Sam. Sports authorities in this picture are arresting Sam for violating a dear man law of supporting multiple teams per sport (bandwagoning) and have placed him on a temporary ban from all sports until he has chosen to be loyal to 1 team per sport. This man has the broadest collection of sports apparel of anyone I know which has allowed him to be the right sports fan on any day, no matter the results. Sam reps from the city of "Kato" Minnesota and can be easily recognized around campus by two main phrases "OHHH YEEEEEEAAAAAH" and "IM DIGGIN THOSE HONEYS....... OHHHHH YEEEEAHHHH". Sam is probably the bravest masterbaiter in the apartment as he ceases to hide his actions by gallantly striding into the bathroom laptop in hand to "check his email" for atleast 30 minutes, to be conservative. Sam recently broke the record for the most hits at videobox.com today in a stylish fashion as he revolutionized the way the videogame Halo 3 is played by placing a video named "The Hitchhiker" (recommended by fellow blog follower kerisable4VP) right next to the xbox giving the gamers at the time something to watch while they wait to respawn or for a game to load, never a dull moment. One story I'm sure that will hang around to tell the grandkids is when Sam took a viagra out of curiosity and continued to masterbait a staggering five times in one day, this one event took a hit on his immune system which explains why he is always sick and has the sniffles. Clogging the drain in the tub from "Unknown" substances has been a hobby of Sam's and has caused a tide system in the shower. We have to make sure that it is low tide now before anyone decides to take a shower. This particular hobby has caused Iceman to almost lose his cool. Sam joins fellow roommate/liberal, Boom Boom, in a soiled participation in politics, which I find particularly surprising that he fell on one individual party given his wide support of multiple sports teams and an extreme attraction to “honeys” (Sarah Palin and/or Cindy Mccain). One thing I do have to credit Sam for though is that he has never once questioned my music selection contrary to many other members at 111i, and for that I give him dap. Fuck all the rest of y'all.
The next post will feature a collaboration of all my roomates view on me.
Was the hitchhiker not top notch? Lets see Sarah Palin do that.
ReplyDeletewhats the difference between a hockey mom and a pitbull?????
ReplyDeleteI don't want to fuck a pitbull in a parking lot behind Denny's.