Monday, December 8, 2008


So this blog came about four days too late as I have, to my roommates predictions, folded on my personal "no shave December" endeavor within a week of the official announcement.. There are hopes that the facial hair will blossom in due time to compensate for my bloodthirsty receding hairline.. On the plus side, big shout out to the liberal Dream Doctor, Joebama (he has been analyzing my dreams for the last week), for the clutch purchase of the "read my blog" T-shirt at a local thrift store for an impressive bargain of $3.99. i apologize for the short blog, alas I must get back to the studies.
Random Fact:A smerf is the size of Three apples.

Monday, December 1, 2008

Grow a fucking beard you pussy

Quick recap of thanksgiving recess. Quote of the weekend goes to my father who, shortly after my mom shrieked at him with an inferior feminine-witch-mudblood voice insisting that he pop the cork outside, he quickly retorted with a thundering masculine brilliance that sang through all the halls of the humble Uglow manor "HELL NO, I ALWAYS DO THE CORK INSIDE". Shortly after that illustrious display of manhood came the conversation of the weekend. I handsomly award this prestigious happening to my Grandma when she gaveme a serious explanation to why Philadelphia is not sunny after she misinterpreted my reference to the T.V. show.

Me: You know grandma, It's always sunny in philadelphia

Grandma: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO it is NOT! let me tell you what.........(40 minute lecture)

Grandma Uhgz makes a chatty kathy sound mute. Though there is no way to prove it, there is no doubt in my mind that that woman holds the world record for the most words spoken out of a mouth in a lifetime, done deal.

As we come upon the last freezing leg of 2008, I have decided to embark on a mission to grow a beard to keep me cozy. I know, I know; Many of you know that I grow measly whiskers that comes no where close to the awesome toughness of a nigerian hair*** but Im going to let it fly anyways and accept whatever nasty shape it may take. I apologize in advance for anyone who has to bear witness to such an offensive item in the flesh. I plan to kick off the new year by liberating my face of any hair below my eyes.

As of today I have entered a new realm of horrible basketball players due to the actions a certain member of the 901 residence whom decided to invite a girl to his IM basketball team before me. For that I am shamed and will hide my face from public exposure for the next 3 days to symbolize my loss of innocence. The nosebleeds are where I belong now.

BREAKING NEWS: According to recent sources I have missed one of Boom's better farts from his liberal bum.

*** Not a racist comment, but rather a shout out to the incredible weezy F. Baby. See lyrics to "A milli" and you will understand.