Sunday, November 23, 2008

Seeking Truth, Living with Doubt... the Fun Way

Ok I just want to touch up on this really quick....It's very weird to think I will never be a teenager again, but fuck that weak, sappy shit, its only one more year till 21. Anyways, I was very satisfied with the last two weekends leading into the highly coveted thanksgiving celebration as I sought truth, while living with doubt*, and came across multiple self realizations.

Quite possibly one of the best highlights of my semester came last weekend when a certain Dana Insana's grandfather proceded to call me a "gypsy"after discovering I was indeed a badger fan from Minnesota much like his grand daughter. Instantly after that comment, I realized that I want to be just like that when I am a grandfather when my little gypsies flip the table on me and go to the badger-reject school that is, The University of Minnesota. I pray that the word "gypsy" still circulates the english language when that time comes. This little event showed me that there was indeed still hope in this world.

This last weekends was one of the funnest I have had in a while. It all started on thursday night, and when I put forth my best effort to come up a dirty sentence with the refrigerator word magnets on thursday night in a drunk stupor at one of my friends house. Rumor has it, I spent upwards to an hour assembling words. I will let you be the judge to see if it was worth my time rearranging those damn words. Here's the final product:

"man I need to bust a big mean job on my dumb smelly graduate summer sorority sister"
(I think it is funnier when you read it off of a refrigerator for some odd reason)

Friday night I played laser tag under the aliases of Bolt and Serenity and went on to let a bunch of 12 year olds bring the heat straight to my wheelhouse. I did find it funny however, that the blue team was a collaboration of about ten fourteen year old blonde girls that ran around in a giant pack much like the present Kappa Kappa Gamma sorority on campus here. Saying that, there was an added sense of ecstasy when I blasted those bitches in the face. I can safely say that those young ladies will be experts in the unique craft of spreading viruses ass to mouth when their time cums. oops, what?-- pun intended. I came to another realization later when I navigated my way into the madison night life-- I hate black light parties. I don't know whether its shit luck or what, but whenever I am at one of these black light parties I am always wearing a pair of jeans that has what apears to be a stain right next to my crotch under black light. I know that there is a short list of items that show up under black light, (yes, sperm shows up on this exclusive list and I'm not ruling it out by any means). Regardless of what it is, I have obviously washed the pants numerous times just to find myself disappointed at the next black light party to see that the mystery stain has not stepped down. So that is why i hate black light parties because i spend the whole time trying to cover my "bait" stain hoping that no one calls me out like Seth's blood spot in Superbad.

This weekend has also showed me that no girl is amazing at quarters.... ok sure there are some that can hang around in a game and pass the damn shot glass, but I have yet to see a dominate bouncing fembot that bounces quarters like she puts coins in a laundry machine. After the sad display I witnessed on thursday of about 15 minutes of HORRIBLY missed shots we had to resort to soccer tactics and pulled the red card from the book and sent her off. The future looks desperately bleak, sorry girls.

I caught a quick glance at Thanksgiving last night with the elustrious potluck at the bayapalooza party which I had quite a fun time at. Another self realization here.... I am horrible at keg stands, please forgive my sad attempt for anyone who witnessed. On the contrary, Huge shout out to the other birthday boy, Bayliss, who guzzled that shit up like he enjoyed getting waterboarded by the onslaught of liquid gold. Have a happy thanksgiving everyone, I am sure that you are as excited as I am to get naturally roofied by eating turkey.

*I doubt anyone in my physics class reads this, but my psycho physics professor's book for a class he's teaching next semester about Physics and Religion is called Seeking Truth, While living with doubt. The guy is a nutjob, while talking about duality with simple harmonic motions he mentioned that duality is much like heaven and earth---- It all makes sense now, earth is a temporary hell since you're teaching that class you southern bigot.

1 comment:

  1. The next time I'm at a black light party with you I'm going to make you do a keg stand and then make fun of you for both the poor keg stand and also the stain on you pants...