Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Probably not Going to do the Leg Press for a While

As winter break comes to a dull end, the city of Madison has once again retained it's familiar tone of uggs sloshing around it's mystical streets ruining the bearers credence step by every ugly step. With a night filled with syllabi and not much homework, I decided to meander down to the shell and do a leg workout (a feat I have not attempted since probably highschool). I started that fateful workout on the machine that is commonly referred to as the leg press (picture below for those of you who do not know what a leg press is).

I situated myself inadvertantly in the odd contraption and began to get my swell on. During what would be maybe the fifth or sixth rep I was really feeling the burn and started to give it my all. With the extra burst of adrenaline came a loud rip out of my ass and I let a fart explode into a gallery of what would of course be three prim lookin' star gazers. I'm mid set, what do i do???? stop and say sorry? NO... I kept going and finish. With that mindset I let out two similar flares that sent the beauties away in disgust. Imagine if you will, that this was no normal fart, it was amplified exponentially due to the flushness of the seat upon my bum and the intense pressure of effort involved in the workout. I finished my set of 12 and declared to an audience of none a deliberate "safety" which constitutes its namesake in the legendary game that is, "doorknob".

Over break I went to Mobile, Alabama for a Habitat for Humanity trip and discovered two individuals who made giant leaps in the book of "people scunt respects"*. Their names are "tricky" Ricky, and Mike. These southerners are not tied down by the normal stresses of life that would normally consume either me or you. From chasing girls all over the carribean in his sailboat to riding shark boats and owning his own bar in St. Thomas; it is clear that with the stories Rick shared, he has lived an admirable life comparable to Forrest Gump. Rick's boat was unfortunately stricken by the whore of a hurricane that was Katrina. I fully agree with fellow liberal-elect Joebama, that if I were to suddenly trip upon a large sum of money somehow, he would be one of the first people i would track down to deliever a new boat to. Alabama opened my eyes to the realization that I am cursed in Cribbage; anyone sitting to the left of me will no doubtedly peg off my cards faster than a tailor on speed.

After I returned home from alabama, my brother actually decided to bring up the blog at the dinner table. Here's how it went:

RJ (Brother): "Did you hear Scunt has a blog?"
Mom: "Really? You should bring that up for me so I can see"
Me (interjecting from the toilet): "nooo, you really shouldn't"
Dad: "Why? whats on it? PORN?"

I wish dad, I wish.

Finally a shoutout to the roomate Supafan for coming out of the closet and courting something that isn't his right hand.

*I doubt anyone has even tried or will ever try to make any progress in advancing in the book of "people scunt respects"

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