Sunday, October 12, 2008

Iceman brrrrrrr

Six people equally share the common grounds of 111 I, however there is one area in the apartment that belongs solely to one individual. Near the deep, cold caverns of the freezer is where the iceman dwells. He dominates storage by building his vast collection of frozen foods higher and higher to solidify his territory as marked, and to send a warning to all contenders that if they dare challenge him for his throne, he will cast the mightiest avalanche down upon them and they will quickly drown in a sea of frozen pizzas, chicken, and buffalo wings. The iceman keeps his hair extremely short in order to keep a consistently cool atmosphere around his thinking crown of approximately 2-3 degrees above absolute zero. Too long of a shag could cause dangerously high temperatures and could threaten the colossal frozen kingdom he has built with a catastrophic meltdown. Iceman’s illustrious dynasty began during the summer of 2007 when he lived in an industrial sized freezer at a Supervalu warehouse where frostbite caused his skin to change black, and where his blood froze and now he literally has ice flowing through his veins. When he is not busy holding his throne, the iceman tests his army tactics via call of duty 4 in a sequestered portion of his room on a small 8” television due to confidentiality of the precious material he is experimenting. The iceman is preparing for the best part of his year as winter season approaches where he can extend his dynasty out past the shallow boundaries of the freezer in 111 I. It will be no surprise to me who will be in control when hell truly does freeze over.

Ancient folklore dates Iceman's existence all the way back to when god created water for iceman to freeze.

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